Which is officially my excuse for neglecting this poor little blog. I've been sitting here at home, desperately trying to write my bloody thesis. It is starting to take some kind of shape, but the whole process is slower than I could possibly have imagined, and is sapping any kind of soul from my already pretty empty life. Does that sound self-pitying? Well, tough!
It's got to the stage where I can't see the point calling my friends, as I have nothing to say to them that isn't contained within the previous paragraph. At night, I open my bedroom window, and watch people walking down my street. Most of them are legless, and noisily staggering their way home from the local clubs and pubs. I'm sure there were occasions way back in the past when I did the same, I just can't remember them. Even the irritating attempts at conversation that I used to get from the woman in the local newsagent now seem like a welcome distraction.
Technically, my funding runs out next week. I was hoping to have some kind of coherent draft by the end of the month. I now realise I've been living in cloud cuckoo land. A part of me wants to let out some kind of primal scream, or break something... but despite the fact that I despise my neighbours, I don't want to disturb the bastards, and I can't afford to replace anything I wreck.
And no... my thesis is no better written than the dire drivel above.
I'm Fucked. (Quite literally, with a capital F)
Sorry for the rant, btw.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
This all sounds so, so familiar. -- BG
You did your PhD so long ago... does time heal the psychological scars?? Just wondering.
It gives you a life-long appreciation of just how hard it can be to write 150,000 words or more, I'll tell you that much.
My memories of that time are inextricably tangled up with organising the wedding at the same time. How the hell G and I never strangled one another during the six months leading up to that, I'm really not sure. I don't think living with me can have been any fun at all. -- BG
We don't actually have to write that many words. I think the guide is only (cough) 30 - 40 000. No problem!
I can't imagine you were much fun to live with, either ;-)
Post a Comment