Monday, May 31, 2004
What the hell was that?
OK. At this point, it may be worth pointing out that I do live in a bit of a strange neighbourhood. Not surprisingly, I occasionally hear things that appear a little odd. Right now, I'm sure I can hear canon fire. It certainly isn't fireworks, and it sounds like it is moving closer. I'm not sure how concerned I should be.
Feel like shit... déjà vu
It is a bank holiday, but was going to head in to work to try to get some things done. Instead, spent most of the day lying either on the sofa or the bathroom floor trying to decide which parts of my body hurt the most. Just hope this doesn't last... 12 hours of feeling like shit, and I'm bored already.
# It's _just_ a little crush... #
There are certain little things that I have always been good at. One of them is falling in lust with people I can't have. The current object of my (unknown and pathetic) affections is an undergraduate student... somewhat younger than me (like that's a problem!), but terribly cute and great to chat to.
Wonder if he would be interested in a stressed, worn-out, rather bitter and twisted postgrad? Time will tell, but my best guess would be rather emphatic "no." Ho Hum...
I wish I could at least tell if I am being pathetically insecure, or just realistic.
Wonder if he would be interested in a stressed, worn-out, rather bitter and twisted postgrad? Time will tell, but my best guess would be rather emphatic "no." Ho Hum...
I wish I could at least tell if I am being pathetically insecure, or just realistic.
Sunday, May 30, 2004
Note to self: get a life...
Hmmmm... well I would like to say it has been an interesting weekend... I'd be lying.
Friday night. I was supposed to head up to London to see Saint Silas Intercession. In the end, I realised that the likelyhood of me falling asleep on the motorway was pretty high, and decided it wasn't worth the risk. That and the fact that the gig was billed as an "acoustic set." I'm not sure that I can think of two words in the English language that I like less when used together. In the end, I decided going home and going to bed may be a better long-term option.
Saturday. I spent the evening getting covered in hot wax. I would be a little more excited about sharing this with people if I had not been in a histology lab (embedding my samples for sectioning.)
Sunday. Spent about half an hour searching the lab for an adaptor that some kind person has either swiped for the weekend, or hidden to piss off the postgrads. In all honesty, I looked for about ten minutes, then ate chocolate cupcakes, and looked again for a few minutes before realising the futility of it all, and retiring back to histology for the rest of the day. Left the lab well before midnight ;-) Yippeeeee!
Friday night. I was supposed to head up to London to see Saint Silas Intercession. In the end, I realised that the likelyhood of me falling asleep on the motorway was pretty high, and decided it wasn't worth the risk. That and the fact that the gig was billed as an "acoustic set." I'm not sure that I can think of two words in the English language that I like less when used together. In the end, I decided going home and going to bed may be a better long-term option.
Saturday. I spent the evening getting covered in hot wax. I would be a little more excited about sharing this with people if I had not been in a histology lab (embedding my samples for sectioning.)
Sunday. Spent about half an hour searching the lab for an adaptor that some kind person has either swiped for the weekend, or hidden to piss off the postgrads. In all honesty, I looked for about ten minutes, then ate chocolate cupcakes, and looked again for a few minutes before realising the futility of it all, and retiring back to histology for the rest of the day. Left the lab well before midnight ;-) Yippeeeee!
Friday, May 28, 2004
I need more caffeine
We have various vending machines in the lobby of my building. Probably the most healthy things I have ever seen in any of them include mass-produced carrot cake and Tic Tacs. Not great when you work long hours and are prone to snacking.
If I want something to drink, I usually just head to the convenience store (which is only a short walk away). More so since some genius decided to stop stocking the machine with Pepsi Max (they do have Diet Pepsi, but water from the toilet would be a close second...). Anyway, it is late, the store is shut, and I have just realised the only thing I can stomach from the vending machine is another Red Devil energy drink (caffiene plus sugar equals happy postgrad.) The kick from the previous dose lasted only an hour or so. At £1.00 a shot, this could turn into an expensive habit. Tempted to either walk down the street to my car (and redeem the Pro-Plus from the glove compartment) or sleep in the lab. Urrggghhh.
If I want something to drink, I usually just head to the convenience store (which is only a short walk away). More so since some genius decided to stop stocking the machine with Pepsi Max (they do have Diet Pepsi, but water from the toilet would be a close second...). Anyway, it is late, the store is shut, and I have just realised the only thing I can stomach from the vending machine is another Red Devil energy drink (caffiene plus sugar equals happy postgrad.) The kick from the previous dose lasted only an hour or so. At £1.00 a shot, this could turn into an expensive habit. Tempted to either walk down the street to my car (and redeem the Pro-Plus from the glove compartment) or sleep in the lab. Urrggghhh.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Daily Stats
Daily Stats:
days of funding left: 110
total today donated to our vending department: £1.35
hours of sleep: 6 (+ 2 of snoozing the alarm)
listening to: Avril Lavigne
mL of diet cola drunk: c. 1500
days of funding left: 110
total today donated to our vending department: £1.35
hours of sleep: 6 (+ 2 of snoozing the alarm)
listening to: Avril Lavigne
mL of diet cola drunk: c. 1500
OK... it made me smile...
I don't know where this originates from, but it has been stuck up in our coffee room for some time:
A doctoral student, a post-doc and a professor are walking thorugh a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the doctoral student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman."
Poof! He's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional volleyball player on one side, and a Mai Tai on the other."
Poof! She's gone.
"You're next," the Genie says to the Professor.
"I want those two back in the lab after lunch!" says angry Professor
A doctoral student, a post-doc and a professor are walking thorugh a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the doctoral student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman."
Poof! He's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional volleyball player on one side, and a Mai Tai on the other."
Poof! She's gone.
"You're next," the Genie says to the Professor.
"I want those two back in the lab after lunch!" says angry Professor
Monday, May 24, 2004
Brad Pitt in a skirt
Saturday night. Went to see Troy.
It was rather entertaining, but mostly due to the rather wonderful sight of Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom in various states of undress. Oh, and the fight scenes were rather impressive; it's just a shame about the dialogue.
When I lived in London, I frequently used to go to the cinema two or three times a week. Now I hardly go at all... must make more of an effort.
It was rather entertaining, but mostly due to the rather wonderful sight of Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom in various states of undress. Oh, and the fight scenes were rather impressive; it's just a shame about the dialogue.
When I lived in London, I frequently used to go to the cinema two or three times a week. Now I hardly go at all... must make more of an effort.
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Gig Etiquette #1
I love live music... I always have. However, there are certain things guaranteed to drive me just a little nuts.
When I was a kid, my elder sister used to take me to see live bands. At the time, I thought she was was soooo cool letting her little sister tag along. I now realise either she was bribed, or my parents used some advanced technique in emotional blackmail. Or both.
Anyway, she was pretty adept at getting tickets just after they went on sale, so we often finished up in the first few rows... which is pretty impressive when you're eleven. As I got older, and my taste in music started to suck a little less, I started going to rock gigs; most of these were general admission. There is a democracy to this that I particulaly love. Generally speaking, the earlier you get to the venue, the better the view you get. I soon realised that I didn't consider several hours freezing my tits off outside a venue to be too greater price to pay to get right down the front. Some people will understand where I am coming from with this. The rest of you think I'm nuts.
Anyway, on occasion, the following has happened:
I'm down at the front, thinking, "Hey... I have a great view. So I've been sitting outside in the cold for the last six hours. It's going to be ages 'til the first band comes onstage, and I'm not going to be able to pee for four hours. It doesn't matter, as I have a great view."
Next thing, I hear a whiny little voice coming from some whiny-arsed incredibly little woman. "I can't see," she'll say. "Can I go in front of you?" The standard answer to this question is, er, NO. "But I can't see..." This is frequently where the dwarf will start to pout, and flutter her eyelashes. It's worth pointing out a couple of things: I'm straight, and I'm a bitch. Therefore, this will have no effect.
In most cases, the midget will try her luck with people either side of me. Unless you try what one girl recently did. I spent the first half of the gig getting very deliberately elbowed in the kidneys. I think she felt this would move someone twice her size. I won't repeat my exact words. I know what I said... she knows what I said. She stopped.
When I was a kid, my elder sister used to take me to see live bands. At the time, I thought she was was soooo cool letting her little sister tag along. I now realise either she was bribed, or my parents used some advanced technique in emotional blackmail. Or both.
Anyway, she was pretty adept at getting tickets just after they went on sale, so we often finished up in the first few rows... which is pretty impressive when you're eleven. As I got older, and my taste in music started to suck a little less, I started going to rock gigs; most of these were general admission. There is a democracy to this that I particulaly love. Generally speaking, the earlier you get to the venue, the better the view you get. I soon realised that I didn't consider several hours freezing my tits off outside a venue to be too greater price to pay to get right down the front. Some people will understand where I am coming from with this. The rest of you think I'm nuts.
Anyway, on occasion, the following has happened:
I'm down at the front, thinking, "Hey... I have a great view. So I've been sitting outside in the cold for the last six hours. It's going to be ages 'til the first band comes onstage, and I'm not going to be able to pee for four hours. It doesn't matter, as I have a great view."
Next thing, I hear a whiny little voice coming from some whiny-arsed incredibly little woman. "I can't see," she'll say. "Can I go in front of you?" The standard answer to this question is, er, NO. "But I can't see..." This is frequently where the dwarf will start to pout, and flutter her eyelashes. It's worth pointing out a couple of things: I'm straight, and I'm a bitch. Therefore, this will have no effect.
In most cases, the midget will try her luck with people either side of me. Unless you try what one girl recently did. I spent the first half of the gig getting very deliberately elbowed in the kidneys. I think she felt this would move someone twice her size. I won't repeat my exact words. I know what I said... she knows what I said. She stopped.
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Grad School Barbie
OK... so this has been around for many years, but it still brings a smile to my face :-)
Hey kids! Want to learn about the joys of pursuing a higher education? Then check out the newest toy from Mattel: Grad Student Barbie!
Graduate School Barbie comes in two forms: Delusional Master's Barbie (tm) and Ph.D. Masochist Barbie (tm). Every Graduate School Barbie comes with these fun filled features guaranteed to delight and entertain for hours:
Grad School Barbie comes out of the box with a big grin on her face that turns into a frown after 2 weeks of research or her first advisor meeting (whichever comes first).
Adorable black circles under her delightfully bloodshot eyes.
Comes with two outfits: a grubby pair of blue jeans and 5 year old gap T-shirt, and a floppy pair of gray sweatpants with a matching "Go F*!k Yourself" T-shirt.
Grad School Barbie talks! Just press the button on her left hand and hear her say such upbeat grad school phrases like, "Yes, Professor, It'll be done by tomorrow" "I'd love to write it all over again" and "Why the hell didn't I just get a job, I could have been making $35,000 a year by now if I had just started working with a Bachelor's. But noooooo, Mom and dad wanted a doctorate in the family. I wish somebody would drop a bomb on the school so that I'd have an excuse to stop working on my degree that's sucking every last drop of life force out of my withered and degraded excuse for a soul..." (9 V lithium batteries sold separately.)
Grad School Barbie is anatomically correct to teach kids about the exciting changes that come with pursuing a higher education. Removable panels on Barbie's head and torso allow you to watch as her cerebellum fries to a crispy brown, her heart race 150 beats per minute, and her stomach lining gradually dissolve into nothing.
Barbie comes with specially designed eye ducts: just add a little water and watch Grad School Barbie burst into tears at random intervals. Deluxe Grad School Barbie comes with a "Snap" button, bendable arms and legs, and a small vibrating motor. Press the button to watch Barbie crumple into the fetal position and tremble uncontrollably. Fun for the whole family!
Other accessories include:
- Grad School Barbie's Fun Fridge (tm) Well stocked with microwave popcorn, Coca-Cola, Healthy Choice Bologna (99% fat free!), and small bottle of Mattel Brand Rum (tm)
- Grad School Barbie's Medicine Cabinet. Comes in Fabulous pink and contains Barbie sized bottles of Advil, St. Johns Wort, Zantac, and your choice of three fun anti-anxiety drugs! (Barbie Medicine Cabinet not available without a prescription)
- Grad School Barbie's Computer Workstation. Comes with miniature obsolete PC (pink of course), rickety desk, and over a dozen miniature Mountain Dew cans to decorate your workstation with (Mountain Dew deposit not included in price, tech support sold separately)
And Grad School Barbie is not alone! Order now and you'll get two of Barbie's great friends!
GRADUATE ADVISOR KEN: Barbie's mentor and advisor in her quest for increased education and decreased self esteem. Grad Advisor Ken (tm) comes with a supply of red pens and a permanent frown. Press the button to hear Grad Advisor Ken deliver such wisdom to Barbie as "I need an update on your progress" "I don't think you'll be ready to graduate yet" and "This is nowhere near ready for publication." Buy 3 or more dolls, and you can have Barbie's Defense Committee! (Palm Pilot and tenure sold separately.)
REAL JOB SKIPPER: When Barbie needs to talk, she knows that she can always count on her good friend Real Job Skipper (tm), who got a job after getting her bachelor degree. Press the button to hear Real Job Skipper say, "Sometimes wish I went for my masters degree" and "Work is so hard! I had to work a half an hour of overtime!" Real Job Skipper's Work Wardrobe and Savings account sold separately. WARNING: Do not place Grad Student Barbie and Real Job Skipper too close to each other, as there have been several cases of children leaving the room and coming back to find Barbie's hands mysteriously fused to Skipper's throat.
Hey kids! Want to learn about the joys of pursuing a higher education? Then check out the newest toy from Mattel: Grad Student Barbie!
Graduate School Barbie comes in two forms: Delusional Master's Barbie (tm) and Ph.D. Masochist Barbie (tm). Every Graduate School Barbie comes with these fun filled features guaranteed to delight and entertain for hours:
Grad School Barbie comes out of the box with a big grin on her face that turns into a frown after 2 weeks of research or her first advisor meeting (whichever comes first).
Adorable black circles under her delightfully bloodshot eyes.
Comes with two outfits: a grubby pair of blue jeans and 5 year old gap T-shirt, and a floppy pair of gray sweatpants with a matching "Go F*!k Yourself" T-shirt.
Grad School Barbie talks! Just press the button on her left hand and hear her say such upbeat grad school phrases like, "Yes, Professor, It'll be done by tomorrow" "I'd love to write it all over again" and "Why the hell didn't I just get a job, I could have been making $35,000 a year by now if I had just started working with a Bachelor's. But noooooo, Mom and dad wanted a doctorate in the family. I wish somebody would drop a bomb on the school so that I'd have an excuse to stop working on my degree that's sucking every last drop of life force out of my withered and degraded excuse for a soul..." (9 V lithium batteries sold separately.)
Grad School Barbie is anatomically correct to teach kids about the exciting changes that come with pursuing a higher education. Removable panels on Barbie's head and torso allow you to watch as her cerebellum fries to a crispy brown, her heart race 150 beats per minute, and her stomach lining gradually dissolve into nothing.
Barbie comes with specially designed eye ducts: just add a little water and watch Grad School Barbie burst into tears at random intervals. Deluxe Grad School Barbie comes with a "Snap" button, bendable arms and legs, and a small vibrating motor. Press the button to watch Barbie crumple into the fetal position and tremble uncontrollably. Fun for the whole family!
Other accessories include:
- Grad School Barbie's Fun Fridge (tm) Well stocked with microwave popcorn, Coca-Cola, Healthy Choice Bologna (99% fat free!), and small bottle of Mattel Brand Rum (tm)
- Grad School Barbie's Medicine Cabinet. Comes in Fabulous pink and contains Barbie sized bottles of Advil, St. Johns Wort, Zantac, and your choice of three fun anti-anxiety drugs! (Barbie Medicine Cabinet not available without a prescription)
- Grad School Barbie's Computer Workstation. Comes with miniature obsolete PC (pink of course), rickety desk, and over a dozen miniature Mountain Dew cans to decorate your workstation with (Mountain Dew deposit not included in price, tech support sold separately)
And Grad School Barbie is not alone! Order now and you'll get two of Barbie's great friends!
GRADUATE ADVISOR KEN: Barbie's mentor and advisor in her quest for increased education and decreased self esteem. Grad Advisor Ken (tm) comes with a supply of red pens and a permanent frown. Press the button to hear Grad Advisor Ken deliver such wisdom to Barbie as "I need an update on your progress" "I don't think you'll be ready to graduate yet" and "This is nowhere near ready for publication." Buy 3 or more dolls, and you can have Barbie's Defense Committee! (Palm Pilot and tenure sold separately.)
REAL JOB SKIPPER: When Barbie needs to talk, she knows that she can always count on her good friend Real Job Skipper (tm), who got a job after getting her bachelor degree. Press the button to hear Real Job Skipper say, "Sometimes wish I went for my masters degree" and "Work is so hard! I had to work a half an hour of overtime!" Real Job Skipper's Work Wardrobe and Savings account sold separately. WARNING: Do not place Grad Student Barbie and Real Job Skipper too close to each other, as there have been several cases of children leaving the room and coming back to find Barbie's hands mysteriously fused to Skipper's throat.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
The First Post
OK... So I've finally got around to setting this thing little blog thing up. I guess I originally expected my first post to be a little longer. What the hell, there are words on the page, and I think that is enough for today.
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