never look Bach back

I don’t know if I should describe my love of live music as a passion, a bad habit, or a full-blown addiction.

For me, the best rock gigs are comparable to the best sex you ever had. Just as hot and twice as sweaty. You leave feeling bruised, abused, entirely exhausted, and briefly satisfied. But a one-night stand is never enough, and you’re always left wanting more. Once a band hits the right spots, I’ll happily travel many, many miles to see them again.

There are two types of people: those who understand, and those who don’t.

Those in the know realise the trip is half the fun. It’s an excuse to see places that you’d otherwise have no reason to visit. It’s an opportunity to hit the road, to misbehave, and meet weird and wonderful people whose paths you’d never normally cross.

Anyway, one band that rarely failed to satisfy was Skid Row. Sebastian Bach was the lead singer when they hit the big time. He was an amazing presence, and I’ll never forget the first time I saw him (he was leaning out of a car window, screaming “kick aaassssss” at the top of his (quite considerable) voice as the vehicle drove past the queue of expectant rock fans outside the Marquee Club). I was 15, and he certainly made an impression. However, over the years it slowly became apparent that when he was doing anything other than singing, the guy was a first class, grade-A dick.

Despite earlier warning signs, the penny only started to drop for me personally after he faxed a self-important, empathy-free attack on Kurt Cobain to various rock magazines in the weeks after his suicide. I forget the exact content, but apparently Kurt “killed himself before he had a chance to become a man...” Silly me. I thought it may have had something to do with a long history of mental illness and heroin addiction (and, perhaps, marriage to Courtney Love)... I stood corrected.

It was during their ’95 tour that the friction within the band was becoming obvious, and it was pretty clear the end was nigh. I don’t when, if ever, the band officially split up. One version of events suggested that a long-suffering band-mate never called Sebastian back after returning home to find a particularly abusive message on his answerphone. Who knows?

Anyway, a couple of years ago, my brother-in-law mentioned to me that Skid Row were playing some dates over here, so I went along... more for old times’ sake than anything else. They had a new singer (Johnny Solinger) and a new drummer (Phil Varone), and a new CD. I wasn’t really sure what to expect from Johnny, but they opened with Slave to the Grind, launched straight into Piece of Me, and I never looked back. The gig fucking rocked, and the personnel change never bothered me in the slightest. The core of the original band was still there, and perhaps not surprisingly, they seemed much happier.

Out on his own, Sebastian has been keeping busy, in part by making appearances in various musicals (Jesus Christ Superstar, anyone?!!). His website still looks as though it was designed thrown together by a colour-blind eight-year old. I think I’ll pass on the “Sebastian Bach Glitter Thong Panties” (I shit you not... they’re 20 USD, should you wish to purchase a pair). When I was 15, the thought of his face that close to my pussy may have done it for me... those days are certainly over! (Girly note: considering they’re only available in large, they really don’t look like a particularly flattering cut.)

Factor into this, that at the top of the page, there is a repeating, sound-free video, where he appears to be saying “come buy stuff...” over and over again. It reminded me of an attack (OK... one of the attacks) he launched another band, in which he accused them of being more concerned with merchanise than their music or fans. He said he’d rather cut off his balls than turn into that. Is he now singing castrato? I think not. Hmmm.... the idealism of youth.

Enough of the past.

A few months ago, I took a look at SR’s website and realised they were playing more gigs over here. The smile on my face, alongside the subsequent scheming and booking frenzy made me realise how unlikely I am to grow up any time soon.

;-)