bastard

I woke up late this morning, having fallen asleep on the sofa some time before 4 am. This is pretty early for me to be getting to sleep at the moment. As I lay there, almost awake, my mind wandered to sex, as it frequently does. I thought about a cute rocker-type I like, and started to imagine him kissing me. I fantasised about his hands wandering... then I thought of Sean. And I felt nothing. In my mind I could picture him perfectly. Still I felt nothing. Impressed with myself, I just thought, "wow... I must be totally over him..."

I got up, put the kettle on and checked my phone. I had two new text messages... both of which had come in around 11.30 pm last night; for some reason I hadn't heard the alert. I saw Sean's name in my inbox, and started to wonder why he would text. Normally, if he has anything to say, he'll call. His message was as follows:

Feeling drunk and horny and i hope not taking the piss but I've got the day free tomorrow if you fancied a trip to **** ******.

Before I calmed down, I rang my sister and ranted.

Anyway. I called him. And I was restrained... I don't actually remember using the words wanker or bastard. Upshot: he's not getting any today. I would sincerely have liked to tell him to fuck off, however, he's cute, I like him... and he has his talents ;-)

Some other time.