It appears as though no-one's dead...

I was wondering quite what the hell had happened next door. A little earlier, the police came knocking. Unfortunately, I was not a whole lot of help.

Police officer: Can I come in?
Me: Whatever... just keep out of breathing distance.
Police officer: Were you here between 3 and 6 am this morning?
Me: Yes
Police officer: Were you awake?
Me: I don't know. I'm ill. Time no longer has any meaning.
Police officer: Did you hear anything outside?
Me: No
Police officer: What is your name?
[this I did at least manage to tell him]
Police officer: Do you have a contact telephone number?
Me: Er, I've just got a new mobile... I can go and check the number if you really need it.

I think by this point the poor man had realised I was not exactly going to be a mine of information. In fact, he was probably cursing whoever decided that house-to-house enquiries were a good idea. He did at least tell me that two men had been assaulted, one seriously. As I went back up to my flat, I heard what sounded like my upstairs neighbour telling the police that he had called an ambulance. It must have been quite a scuffle to wake up the Fuckwits Upstairs.

Now I'm going to have to hunt down Geoff, and get the low-down from him...